No. No we don’t.
But somebody has to do it. Otherwise, how else will you stave off boredom this Bank Holiday weekend?
So, right here we’re, sharing some concepts for what to do to fill the hours between picnics and events.
The specialists at Ann Summers reckon that in the event you’re going to have intercourse this weekend, it is best to no less than keep on with the Jubilee theme – in order that they’ve put collectively seven intercourse positions impressed by the event.
Now, we’ll warn you: a few of these positions’ royal connections are a little bit of a stretch.
In truth, a few of them seem to only be normal intercourse positions, however with bunting.
If you do wish to make these extra Jubilee-themed, you have got our approval to seize some Pimms or handle your associate as Your Majesty.
Here’s the right way to do ’em.
To honour 70 years on the throne, attempt the 70 – a one-up on the 69.
It’s the identical as a 69, with each companions receiving and giving oral on the similar time, however relatively than mendacity down, you add some athleticism and steadiness by being upright – both standing or sitting – so one individual is hanging head-down.
A Royal Crown
Okay, that is simply sitting in your associate’s face to obtain oral. It’s royal since you’re like a crown on their head.
We’d wish to take this second to remind readers that we didn’t provide you with these names.
A royal expertise
Another barely doubtful royal connection, however this place is definitely a great ‘un.
The individual penetrating kneels, whereas their associate lies on their again. The penetrator then lifts the receiver’s hips up out of bed and will get to thrusting.
The individual receiving can cross their legs, unfold ’em, or simply allow them to flop willy-nilly.
This delivers deep penetration, and leaves fingers free so as to add to the enjoyable.
Queening can also be a time period for face-sitting, so this is perhaps a bit complicated – however in Ann Summers’ model, it’s merely a twist on missionary.
Lie in your again along with your legs unfold open and held aloft. Your associate then kneels in between your legs and locations their fingers both facet of your head on the mattress.
Thrust or grind whereas sustaining eye contact for an intimate expertise.
A royal knees up
Like the wheelbarrow, however with one leg on the bottom to offer some stability.
You’ll want respectable higher physique power to remain on this place for longer than a couple of seconds, so be prepared to combine issues up and maybe ease into doggie (or corgi?) model.
Have a solo intercourse sesh, however kneeling upright. That’s all.
A royal courtesy
Ann Summers’ rationalization of why that is becoming for the Jubilee: ‘What’s extra royal than a journey house? Get your jubilee themed reverse cowgirl going.’
Sure, why not?
Do you have got a narrative to share?
Get in contact by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum Jubilee 2022
Dust off your Union Jack bunting, Queen Elizabeth II’s Platinum Jubilee is lastly right here.
Taking place from Thursday, June 2, to Sunday, June 5, the celebrations mark Her Majesty’s record-breaking seventieth 12 months on the throne.